Guilt
by Dorrica
Summary: For an entire year they met in secret, sacrificing honor and truth in exchange for just a moment of happiness. //DonkeyxPuss//Slash//


**Title:** Guilt  
**Author:** Dorri  
**Summary:** For an entire year they met in secret, sacrificing honor and truth in exchange for just a moment of happiness.  
**Rating:** K+  
**Pairing:** Donkey/Puss (yeah, you read that right)  
**Disclaimer:** Puss and Donkey belong to Dreamworks Animation. I do no make any profit from this story.  
**Author's Note:** Oh, stop giving me that look :D This pair is adorable. I'll admit, I'm not quite sure what draws me to this couple. When I look at these two, I see two characters who really have no business being together, and I think that's what I like about it. Sometimes I like pairings that people typically cock their heads at. For a while, I've been wanting to write something Donkey/Puss oriented, and I wanted to write something that didn't involve them being human for once. Plus, there just aren't a lot of Puss/Donkey stories, and I thought I'd help rectify that. So if this isn't your cup of tea, then please click the 'Back' button and move along. No one's forcing you to read this. That's why the warnings were put there in the first place. 

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**Guilt**

There were times Donkey wished he had never fallen in love with the swashbuckling feline, for the guilt that resulted from it was unbearable. Why he continued to exacerbate it was beyond him. Their time together was rare, or the time they spent together _without _Shrek, or any of their other friends, at least. However, even when they _were _within other company, they still shot each other looks when no one else was looking. Whenever they wanted to meet alone, they both had a signal they would display to the other: Puss would tug his whiskers, or Donkey would twitch his left ear. The two often joked about feeling like secret agents.

Their meeting place was a secluded area in the woods, far enough away from the swamp that it was unlikely Shrek or Fiona would ever come upon them. They would huddle together inside the hollowed out trunk of a large tree, which provided antiquate shelter for them whenever it would start to rain. Sometimes they would talk, and other times they would not say a word, usually resorting to just cuddling and nuzzling. However, the tension resulting from their guilty pleasure made it difficult to truly enjoy the time they spent together.

Donkey recalled the time when the two had become an item: Shrek and Fiona often turned to him and Puss whenever they needed someone to sit for the triplets. After all, the two were basically the children's godparents, though they often referred to themselves as uncles. Donkey had no qualms about sitting for the children, though Puss usually dreaded it, as the triplets made a sport out of pulling on every part of his body they could get their hands on. Within an hour's time, both would be mentally and physically exhausted. They would often huddle together on the floor to try to rest before the infants awoke from their nap and started crying again.

During the times the two managed to catch a break, they would talk about various subjects, but almost every time, Donkey would get on a bragging kick about his children. Sitting for the triplets always seemed to inflate the pride he felt for his own family. Puss usually just smiled and nodded as Donkey droned on and on, but eventually it got to the point where his words became downright depressing to the feline, and Donkey had picked up on it fairly quickly.

"I must say…as much as I've enjoyed an independent life, I _am_ getting tired of being alone. Seeing both you and Shrek with your children has made me realize what I've been missing out on," Puss had said, which Donkey did not know how to respond to at first. He just didn't feel like recycling the same old, "Oh, you'll find love some day" line. He knew it wouldn't do much to fill the slowly expanding emptiness the cat felt from observing his friends and their families.

When Shrek and Fiona returned that evening, Puss left almost immediately, leaving Donkey to mentally argue with himself on whether or not he should go after him. Eventually, he did, though he didn't think he'd ever be able to catch up with him. Rain clouds rolled in out of nowhere that evening, and there came a downpour. Knowing Puss would be desperate for shelter, Donkey broke off from the trail and into the woods, calling out to him as loud as he could. When he was just about to give up, he had heard Puss call back to him, his tone a bit confused. Donkey followed his voice until he had found him in the hollowed out tree, teeth chattering and hugging himself for warmth.

When he had joined Puss inside the tree, he was silent for a while, his attention focused on everything _but _Puss, and the feline knew his friend had something important to say, but he didn't press him. He only watched Donkey with growing anticipation, heart edging closer and closer into his throat.

"You're not alone," Donkey had finally said to him, and Puss knew how deep the meaning of those words was, otherwise Donkey would not have taken so long to say them. They held each other's gaze for a while, both of them acknowledging the precarious situation they were accepting, though really it was more precarious for Donkey. They curled up together for warmth and watched the rain fall, never once uttering a word to each other.

For a while, it had seemed to Donkey that he had given his heart to the feline out of sympathy, but he really didn't think that was the case. He was certain the love was already there, hidden under blankets and blankets of denial and only finally being brought to light when he saw how much his friend was hurting. If Puss was craving the love and affection of another individual, why hide it? If he had love to give, why not give it? And considering they had been meeting secretly for a year now, Donkey knew Puss had, somewhere along the way, given his heart to him as well.

How he fell in love with Puss was the bigger question. With Dragon, it had seemed a bit more forced, and not to mention fast. She had pined for him so suddenly, while Donkey, at first, held no interest. But upon their second encounter, he thought it fair to give it a chance, especially when seeing how heartbroken she had seemed. Within time, he grew very much attached to the winged creature. He grew to love her, even. Loving was the only thing he really knew how to do, although love was not generally something he received. But he still always had so much to give. The fact that he had followed a very grouchy ogre around for days was proof of that.

With Puss, it was different, even though his loneliness had triggered Donkey's feelings of devotion, just as Dragon's had. No, he knew it was different. His feelings for the cat had been there for some time. When he had given himself to Dragon, he had done it with uncertainty of what would come of it, but with Puss, there had been no uncertainty whatsoever. He had fallen in love with the feline without even trying, and he figured the only logical explanation was the fact that Shrek had, in a way, outgrown him. No doubt, he was still his friend, but his life was much different than it was the day he and Donkey first met. His priorities were much bigger now, and while Donkey had a family of his own to keep him busy, he always enjoyed time away from that life, if just for a while, to spend with friends.

It wasn't long before Donkey started limiting his visits to Shrek and Fiona, and instead sought Puss out for company. For the first time, Donkey had honestly been grateful that the feline had entered his life, even if his first memory of Puss wasn't exactly a positive one. While Donkey saw him as being a bit of a show off, as well as a kiss up at times, he unknowingly grew to love him with each passing day. And although Puss usually liked his privacy, he had become just as attached to the talkative quadruped.

Dragon was the issue, however. She never knew of their meetings, and Donkey wasn't sure if she'd _ever_ know, though he didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if he wasn't honest with his wife at some point. He felt like absolute scum. Dragon was more than he could have ever hoped for, and he was dishonoring her trust every time he met with Puss. He hated himself for it, and it was the sheer guilt that had prevented him and Puss from ever mating. However, he wasn't just being unfair to Dragon, he was being unfair to Puss as well, as the feline felt just as guilty as Donkey. Puss had constantly suggested that they break it off, unable to bear the thought of jeopardizing Donkey's marriage if they were discovered, but he always refused, the thought of losing Puss just as painful as losing Dragon. And for that, he felt like the most selfish bastard on the face of the earth.

There were many risks involved with telling his wife the truth. She could leave him, _and _take his kids with her. Not only that, he also feared Puss' life might be at stake if he told her. Anger was to be expected from Dragon, but to whom would she direct it at? She could easily take Puss out with very little effort if she wanted to. He just didn't think he could take that chance. Of course, he constantly reminded himself that if he was caught in a lie, the consequences would likely be even greater. There was more respect in being honest, but the way he looked at it, it was a lose/lose situation. The outcome would probably be the same no matter what he did. He thought perhaps he'd wait a while longer, until his children were older and more independent. He couldn't bear the idea of never seeing his kids again, but Donkey didn't think he'd be able to keep to a lie for that long.

Today was yet another day of guilty pleasure. Donkey slowly trudged through the forest, sighing heavily almost every step he took. He smiled guiltily when he reached his destination and saw that Puss was curled up inside the tree, asleep, his boots and hat discarded to the side. Donkey hadn't meant to take so long, but Gingy and Pinocchio had stalled him up by pulling him back into one discussion after another.

"About time you got here," Puss mumbled as he started to come out of his slumber.

"Sorry, the guys held me up." Donkey settled himself on the ground while Puss stretched. After doing this, the feline rubbed his body against Donkey's side like he usually did when they met. Donkey was never sure if Puss did this out of affection, or if he was doing it to mark his territory. The idea of being Puss' 'territory' was certainly humorous, but he preferred to think he was just being loving. He smiled when Puss settled between his front legs, rubbing the top of his head into the crook of Donkey's neck. He began to purr softly, curling up as close to the other animal as possible.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a long silence.

"Fine," Donkey muttered back, staring out into the forest. Silence fell over the two again, save for the sound of Puss' purring. A silent Donkey was something Puss oddly did not like, especially when he knew why his mate was so quiet lately. Every time he tried to suggest rectifying the situation, Donkey would always find a way to change the subject. Sighing, the feline turned to face Donkey's chest and flicked his tongue out to bathe him. Donkey smirked at this.

"Ya know, all the cracks you make 'bout my personal hygiene, I would think you wouldn't put your tongue anywhere near me."

Puss pulled away for a moment and craned his neck to look up at the larger animal. "Well, _someone _has to do it, and clearly, it's not going to be you," he snapped playfully before continuing to bathe the donkey. After about ten minutes or so, Puss pulled his tongue back into his mouth and leaned his head against the other's chest. Eventually, the silence became too much. "Donkey, we can't keep this up," he finally said.

"Don't," Donkey warned firmly.

"You're not happy," Puss pointed out. "This is only going to get worse for you, and you _know _it."

"I said _don't,_" Donkey warned again, teeth clenching. Puss sighed sadly.

"I can't take it anymore," he said quietly, shaking his head. He fell over when Donkey abruptly stood up and walked out of the tree.

"It's killin' me, too, a'right? It's harder for me than it is for you."

"I never said it wasn't," Puss replied defensively. He remained inside the tree, watching his partner intently.

"I was always taught throughout life that you find that one special person…an' you spend the rest of your life with 'em, but…I always thought that was because you _couldn't _love more than one person, but obviously that ain't true! So why? Why have a rule like that? It just seems so cruel."

Puss got to his feet and slowly approached his friend, his mind drawing a blank at a proper response.

"I know I'm lower than dirt," said Donkey shamefully.

"No, you're not. Your problem is you love _too _much. That doesn't make you a bad person."

Donkey snorted, lowering his head. "Well I sure feel like one."

Unsure of what else to do, Puss reached out and ran his paw along Donkey's neck.

"I'm just afraid of losing her."

"Well…no matter what happens, I'll still be here. You won't lose me. Even if we can never be together, it's not like I'm going to disappear from your life forever, so stop acting like that's the case."

"But if she leaves me…"

"I'll _be _here," Puss repeated.

Donkey tried his hardest to take comfort in those words, smiling the best he could at the feline. He brought his head around and pressed it into Puss' chest, eager to feel his paws against his face. "I'll figure this out, but…for now, just let me enjoy you. 'Scuse the sappiness."

Puss ran a paw through the donkey's mane and down the center of his face, sliding it under his chin and lifting his head slightly to where their eyes met. "Figure it out when?" he asked firmly.

"Soon, a'right? I'll tell 'er the truth. I just need to think of the right words."

Puss nodded. "Well, then, I suppose it would be best if we didn't meet anymore after this."

Donkey sighed heavily, ears lowering. "But is what we're doing really wrong? I mean, c'mon, what are we really doing? Cuddling? That's it! What's to get upset about? Why is this wrong?"

Puss quickly opened his mouth, ready to condemn their actions, but he could think of no true, solid argument against it. "I…I don't know," was all he could say.

"I don't wanna give this up," Donkey protested.

"For now, I think we should. Whether our actions are truly wrong can be debated, but they are concealed in a lie, which _is _wrong, mi amor, and you know it."

Donkey averted his gaze, becoming nauseated with despair.

"But we'll make this time last," Puss added softly, pressing his forehead against Donkey's. This seemed to bring back the twinkle in his mate's eyes, though it was faint. The two animals settled down in the grass, Puss curling up against Donkey's side. They would enjoy this time they had together, as they had no idea when they'd meet like this again, or if they ever would for that matter. Donkey knew he had dug himself a fairly deep hole. He didn't know what the outcome of all this would be, but Puss' assurance that he'd be there for him no matter what gave him the strength he so desperately needed.

As long as Puss was in his corner, he was certain he could brave every obstacle that was sure to come, even if they did leave him scarred afterwards.

"Whoever thought you and me would come this far?" Donkey commented with a chuckle.

Puss smiled against Donkey's fur. "Well, I still think you're an annoying ass."

"And _you're _still a butt kisser."

Puss laughed.

"But I love you," Donkey added quietly after a short pause.

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**Author's Note: **As of right now, this is a one-shot. I _do _have an idea to make it a two-shot, but I'm not making any promises regarding a second chapter. For right now, I'm just going to leave it alone. I may write a part 2 later on, but I'm going to try and get my focus back to "BtN".


End file.
